The Vulnerability of Lent

I’m exhausted. Joy feels impossible to muster up. Spring feels like it will never come. And Lent begins this week. 

It’s probably a good space for Lent – I mean I’d rather give things up when everything is hard rather than when there is sun and camping to be done. But I also don’t want to. If that sounds a little whiny, it’s because it is.

A few years ago, I gave up going to church for Lent. To be honest, I haven’t really returned.

I still listen in and watch what’s happening, but I have not returned to sitting in pews and singing and praying with my church community. I don’t know why, other than it feels like a piece of me died and I haven’t given that a proper funeral. I don’t want to let it go but I don’t know how to stay well. It’s not a bad place to be. I’m just in the middle and sometimes that is just hard. 

This year, everything I have felt a nudge to do for Lent is met with my own eye rolls. 

Give up technology? Eye roll. Get up an hour earlier and read? Eye roll. Go back to church? Eye roll. Give up eye rolling? Eye roll.

I’ll think of something, but how vulnerable I will be with myself remains to be seen. 

Do you know what you are doing for Lent? 

I wrote the following blog post about Lent for anyone who is unsure about Lent or how they want to participate.  It’s part history and part lived experience. Throw out what doesn’t work and wrestle with what does. And if you need a witness to your journey, let me know.

Here’s to less eye-rolling and more winking,
Lisa

What is Lent?

Lent is thought to have begun at or around the Council of Nicaea in 325 AD.  It is also possible that a form of fasting before Easter was done as early as 103 AD.  Pope Gregory I (590-604) clarified the beginning of lent with a ceremony that included ashes on the Wednesday 46 days before Easter. Sundays are not part of the fast or count of 40 days. 

When you participate in Lent, you are participating in a practice that is almost 1700 years old. Over the years and within different denominations, Lent has of course changed.  It has been required, optional and abandoned depending on where you are in time and religious belief.  Currently, most lent practices will include, prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.

For 40 Orchards, we want to get curious about practices and how they might help us engage our whole selves in a communal practice. Practices can also be the place where we stretch and expand ourselves.

**As is always the invitation at 40 Orchards, you can opt out of a Lent practice. **

Prayer: How might the Living Presence be inviting you to a prayer practice? 

How do you define and practice prayer? When someone asks you to pray out loud for a group of people, what is your first thought? Do you have a rhythm or time when you like to pray? Do you like to recite a prayer, or do you use your own words?

Perhaps you want to try something different for Lent. Maybe you want to stretch yourself.

Do you need to take a break from how you have been praying? When was the last time you wrote down a lament where you put down in writing how angry and disappointed you were with God?  When have you told God to join you in what you are angry about and to do something about it?  

Fasting: How might the Living Presence be inviting you to a fasting practice?

Many fasts are around a type of food (Fish Fry Friday will be available pretty much everywhere), although I have also seen people abstain from alcohol or caffeine. There are also fasts from habits or things you regularly do.  Fasting can be the same every Lent. And there might be a time where you are ready for something different.

Is there something that if you gave it up for 40 days, would expand your understanding/perspective? It is worth noting that the Prophets have a lot to say about fasting. Isaiah 58 is powerful. Verse 8 makes us wonder what kind of fasting could I do that would let our light break forth?  Verse 6 invites us to consider who might be impacted from a fast and if we are aware of where there are burdens or oppression. In verse 7, how are you hiding from yourself?

What consumes your time/energy/focus? If it’s work, what if you fasted from giving your work more than 40 hours? If it’s your phone/technology, what it you gave it up? If it’s being critical of yourself and others, what if you committed to affirming 5 people each day and removed the critical voice? What if you paused (or quit) all your subscriptions – where could you spend that time and money?

Almsgiving: How might the Living Presence be inviting you to a practice of almsgiving?

Almsgiving is basically a physical gift of money, food, or goods that will help those who are poor.  There’s some room there for interpretation, so try to sense the invitation not the restriction. Almsgiving can get tied to who you are praying for or taking the money you’re saving from your fast and donating it.  It can also be totally separate. It might be that you want to start with deciding who will be the recipient of your alms. It might be an organization or cause that you are passionate about.  It could be a family or friend that you know could use some help. “Poor” can mean a lot of different things. 

Alms might be a donation made electronically, but it also could be making some freezer meals, canning some treats, creating art, or dropping off groceries.  Your alms might also be your presence. 

Is there a protest where your presence is needed or appreciated? Where are you uncomfortable? What do you hide from? How might 40 days of being uncomfortable expand you?

How do I start?

Where do you sense an invitation?  Perhaps all 3 feel invitational. Maybe there’s just one for this season.  Be gentle with yourself. If you hear yourself saying “should”, pause and notice what is happening in your body and mind. This is not a time to punish or constrict yourself – it’s a time to care for yourself.

Prayers, fasting and almsgiving can be sources of nourishment and light. That doesn’t mean that you choose the easiest thing; it means you choose something that is going to change you. You open yourself up to transformation – maybe it’s doing something you have never done or maybe it’s quitting the thing you always do. 

One of the things that I love about Lent is that it does give me the opportunity to be honest and vulnerable with myself and try something for 40 days to just see what happens.  Each year it’s different for me because I’m always changing what I waste time on or how I hide myself.  Lent makes me look at my life ,and my vices and addictions, and see if I’m willing to let go of them.  Vices and addictions hide the light that is within me.  I dim myself. 

Lent is the time where I figure out how to get my shine back.  Maybe you need some shiny, too?

40 Orchards will also offer 4 different Scripture Circles during and after Lent, focused on the narratives and teachings that occurred during Holy Week.

How might the Living Presence be inviting you to wrestle and expand through looking at Scripture in community?

40 Orchards will also be offering a Seder Experience.

How might the Living Presence be inviting you to engage in the ancient tradition of a Seder meal as a way of tasting how your experience overlaps with the experience of those leaving Egypt?

  • The Seder Experience will be on Maundy Thursday, April 14 from 6:00-8:00. It is virtual, free, and open to all.

We hope you can join us! As always, please reach out if you have any questions or concerns. Or if you just want to talk to someone about Lent, life, faith deconstruction, or anything else.

Stephanie Spencer