Meagan’s Story: Finding Footing Again After Loss
In 2020, I lost the person closest to me, my sister, to brain cancer. Amid the disorientation of grief, I felt completely unmoored, and like I had been sold a bill of goods about what the Bible promises. The verses I had leaned on for comfort my whole life no longer rang true to my experience. I didn't want to hear it, couldn't pretend to believe it, if it wasn't true for someone suffering and dying of cancer. The loss of confidence in my understanding of the Bible was another loss to grieve- until 40 Orchards.
After 2 years of the Cohort, I'm trusting in our sacred text in a new way. This isn’t because Steph and Lisa have given me some magical answers. Through the safety and wisdom of 40 Orchards community, I've learned to ask questions, not memorize answers or creeds, and realized that's where I can find my footing again. I don't have to stifle my intellectual curiosity or re-write the narrative of my lived experience to make it all add up.
In April, the Cohort spent time in the Beatitudes. We had a rich discussion about who is blessed, why they're blessed, how they're blessed, and when they're blessed. I felt a burning tension every time we got to Matthew 5:4: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. As someone who will always mourn my sister, none of our midrashing of this passage felt sufficient. I fell into the trap of needing to solve this verse, needing to understand exactly what it means, needing more. At our subsequent gathering, my fellow cohort member, Holly, came with a gorgeous painting of someone who mourns.
The community of the Cohort who sat with me in my unanswered questions, and the art Holly painted conveying what words couldn’t, healed something in me. I'm so incredibly grateful that 40 Orchards exists to help people like me regain my confidence in scripture, cultivate community, and pave the way for healing.
“Meagan’s story demonstrates how 40 Orchards provides space for questions, healing, and renewed trust in Scripture. Read the full year-end letter and give now to ensure this transformative work continues in 2026.
